Baked Into the Brownies

We're all weird, right? No one is perfectly "normal". It's just that some people are weirder than others. And if you're with someone for a very long time, or simply by yourself for a very long time, you tend to forget about some of these weird things (I prefer the term idiosyncrasies) that may cause new people, upon learning of them, to look at you with a furrowed brow and say, "What?!? You are f$%^ing wacked in the head." No, my new sweet, wonderful boyfriend would never say anything like that, but I was told that once, by another Yankee, of course. They throw around the F-word like they throw snowballs, neither of which I, as a southern girl, am accustomed to. Anyway, so there are all these weird things about me, to which I had not paid much heed, until now, when someone is getting to know me. Some of these idiosyncrasies are probably just habits I've formed over the years, while some others are "baked into the brownies", my new favorite saying from Jeff meaning instilled in me at such a young age or for such a long time that they're here for good.

• I am vehemently opposed to tanning beds and motorcycles, aka skin cancer and death traps. I have two phrases that pop into my mind at the mention of these two, which must have been drilled into my head at a young age, and could explain my aversion. "There's a reason those things are shaped like coffins." and "For your son's last birthday, buy him a motorcycle."
• I have a very strict sense of propriety, thanks to my Momma and a drug problem in my youth (I was drug to church every time the doors were open), that transcends the social norms for this day and age, has my friends asking me, "What is wrong with you?", and causes me to suffer a large dose of good ol' Southern Baptist guilt at the occasional slip-up (or even the thought of a slip-up) that would be considered even remotely "tacky" in my Momma's eyes. Oh, the fear that word incites. I'd rather be fat & ugly than tacky.
• [Aside] Don't get me wrong. I am VERY thankful that my mother worked so hard to instill these ethics and morals into me at such a young age. I would not want to be any other way. And my Momma is awesome. She is very kind and loving; she just wants her girls to be sweet, classy and properly attired at all times. "For goodness sakes, Lara Leigh, put on some lipstick. You need a little color." Sorry, Mom. Juli doesn't even own any, and I have no idea where the one tube I bought 3 years ago is hiding. (Insert Momma's long exasperated sigh here)
• I absolutely, positively will NOT look at the clock before I go to sleep. I don't want to know what time it is before I get in bed, especially if it's late. And I'll actually get angry at someone for telling me, "Oh, my gosh! I have to get going, it's 11:30!" What happens in my brain upon hearing this: "AAAAGH! DON'T TELL ME! Now I'll be exhausted tomorrow because I'll know I only got 6 hrs of sleep or less." I actually close my eyes when walking by a clock near bedtime. I know, I know. This one is particularly crazy. I realize that not knowing what time it is does NOT make the hours any longer, but I can convince myself that I got a certain amount of sleep and am well-rested if I really don't know exactly what time I crawled in bed. The power of the mind . . .
• I get unreasonably irritated by spelling and grammatical errors. It's not too bad in a chat or text, but in an email or written correspondence, it really gets on my nerves. But in anything published, it drives me NUTS. There are 3 different and distinct spellings: there, they're, and their, and they're NOT interchangeable. And there is no "a" in definitely. Why don't people use their spellcheck? See! I've used all 3 forms in their distinct and proper context. Don't even get me started on the misuse of punctuation. Since when did a sentence fragment become okay in writing?

Wow. There are so many more of these idiosyncrasies, but my fingers (and my brain) are tired, so I'll stop for now. Maybe later I'll do an "Idiosyncrasies, Part Deux: 5 Reasons Lara is Still Single".