Self-Improvement

I have a lot of pet peeves. For instance, I cannot stand the mispronunciation and misspelling of words. I also get irritated by incorrect punctuation, which has led me to this act of self-improvement. I think our society as a whole has become entirely too dependent on excessive punctuation for emphasis. It indicates, as does the overabundant use of curse words, an uncreative mind paired with a mediocre vocabulary. And if it weren't for the changes I am instituting at this very moment, I'd be a raging hypocrite. Por ejemplo, my current Gmail status: "Countdown to Peru: 7 days!!!" And how many times have I typed, "What?!?!?" My fingers just flow to those keys far to easily. But I'm through with all of that. I do not need more than one punctuation mark to get my point across. Perhaps I should employ more similes and metaphors.

Instead of: I'm SO nervous!!!
I could say: I'm as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Instead of: I'm SO excited!!!
I could say: I feel like a 12 year old girl with front row seats at a Jonas Brothers concert.

However, I plan to stay away from similes and metaphors that don't make sense to me. Did you ever meet a happy clam? Does anyone think a barrel of monkeys would be anything besides chaotic and smelly? Get real, people. They throw their own poo.

Could this excessive punctuation indicate a deeper problem that we are too dependent on typed communication? It's much harder to convey the intended tone of "What?" without facial expressions and voice inflections. Should I start writing my tone/emotions in parentheses?

What? (irritated and busy)
What? (shocked and incredulous)
What? (embarrassed and defensive)
What? (impatient and expectant)

See how many different ways they can be interpreted? This is not going to be easy, but I really want to eliminate excessive punctuation from my texting, IMing, emailing, Myspace commenting, etc . . . Okay, that doesn't count as excessive punctuation. That's just how you end et cetera. I promise. It's the one exception to my new rule. :) Okay, that doesn't count either because it's not technically being used as punctuation. It's the other exception to my new rule. Oh, boy . . . I am a hypocrite.